Saying the “Right” Thing in Hardship

Mar 1

Many of us were raised to raise our hands in praise, claiming Gods goodness during times of suffering or loss, saying He is the calm through the storm…or even saying He is in control of the storm.

As if claiming the other very valid truth of grief, anger, pain & sorrow somehow diminished our belief in His greatness.

As if saying He was in control, might somehow make the storm’s damage less devastating. Because there’s gotta be a reason, right? What if there isn’t?

As if saying He is our calm during tragedy makes our faith stronger.

But through my adult years of unraveling who I am and the truth of who I was made to be… I have found immense grace & healing in silencing the need to say those right, godly, holy things.

I have explored the depths of devastation, opening my hands in a different sort of surrender — instead of surrendering to the God’s Will of Strength & Courage & Fancy Faithful Words that made others comfortable…I’ve learned to surrender to sorrow.

And I’ve found comfort knowing the God of the Universe is still right there, actually just as devastated —if not more— than I am.

Through surrendering to the wails wanting to escape my vocal cords from the depths of tragedy…there is an eery sense of calm that comes through the permission to feel all the ugly, uncomfortable feelings that come with being human.

This last week of tragedy has brought me to myself.

I’m not a person who will ever tell you to look at the bright side, if the bright side is not what you want in that moment or doesn’t help in the now.

I’m not a person who will ever tell you to silence your sorrow or quiet your cries; I won’t diminish your devastation.

This is on a grand scale and on a smaller scale.

This is why my clients feel safe with me: I see them wherever they’re at & there is space for them exactly as they are.

This extends beyond behind the lens, this is who I am to my core.

I’m Natalie: I was raised to fit in the Christian-based culture box, to not be too loud or too sad, to not challenge the formulas, to not be seen or vain.

Now I live a life that bursts the boxes, shrugs at formulas, & advocates for you to be fully seen as you are without shame.